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Attention! Seeking Happiness?

Attention! Seekers
I don’t know about you, but I have had the good fortune to have first-hand experience of an attention seeker. You know the kind of person I mean; the ones that constantly go on about their illnesses or how well they have done at something to the exclusion, on most occasions of everything or everyone else. I say good fortune because until you actually meet someone that has to demand attention, you can be in danger of forgetting how well balanced you actually are.

Many years ago, I used to get quite angry with these kinds of people, but in recent years I feel really quite sorry for them. You see, when you are 100% happy in your own skin, there is no need to enforce yourself on anyone else. When you know that you are content with who you are, what you are and the life that you live it is not necessary or important  to be better than everyone else.
I feel sorry for these people because much of the time they are so unhappy in their skin that they feel insignificant, and that must be awful. Everyone needs to feel special or unique in some area of their life. Some people get significance through their work; getting a promotion or a new job. Some get it through acquiring more and more illnesses or progressing one illness to its full capacity.

I once knew a lady in Kent who, every year managed to get something else wrong with her. First it was agoraphobia, then it was depression. Then came Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, followed by anxiety and panic attacks. Then she really did get ill. She was diagnosed with a cancerous lump which had to be operated on. Strangely enough, when she got the cancerous lump, all of the other ‘ailments’ that had encompassed her were not mentioned. The lump was removed and she was given the all clear and then very soon back came the anxiety, the depression, the agoraphobia and the OCD.

When you take a closer look at what else she has in her life it becomes a lot more obvious where this behaviour is stemming from. This lady had not had paid employment in decades. She had stayed at home to look after her children, who are now grown up, and because money was tight had no real means of going out and socialising like she wanted to. She was, and still is an outgoing person but her methods of allowing herself to be outgoing had dwindled over the years. But the need to be outgoing and significant were still there, bubbling away under the surface.

That need, whatever it is, has to be met by hook or by crook, and this applies to everyone. If you have an itch, you need to scratch it. The question is; are you scratching your itch in a positive way or a negative way?

There are many positive ways that a person can feel significant. They can:
• Do charity work
• Help others
• Progress in your job
• Meet the right partner
• Through religion or prayer
• Through friendship
• Get it through Accomplishment – getting a degree or certifications
• Having many material possessions
• Your look – getting tattoos, piercings or changing your hair colour
• Having a unique ability – being double jointed
• Having a winning attitude.
Some negative ways of achieving significance are:
• By tearing other people down
• Being violent
• Having a negative identity – constantly admitting your flaws or weaknesses or being ill all of the time
• Amplification – over emphasising your results or accomplishments
• Playing the martyr – and letting others know it
• By controlling other people and situations
• Over reacting in every situation

We all need to feel significant, special, unique, important, needed and wanted by others.
How are you meeting your need?

11 comments on “Attention! Seeking Happiness?

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